two things that i'm chewing on
1> i just recently heard this guy Paul Trip say "The imagination that your reality sees is the reality in which you live by."
it true we live by the possibilitities, and we concsiously, and subcouncly try to sculpt , or direct life to move with in the boundaries of our ideals.

2> psalms 72: 11-15 ( NIV) All kings will bow down to him
and all nations will serve him.
12 For he will deliver the needy who cry out,
the afflicted who have no one to help.
13 He will take pity on the weak and the needy
and save the needy from death.
14 He will rescue them from oppression and violence,
for precious is their blood in his sight.
15 Long may he live!

first i really hate it when even the modern Bibles don't Capitalize refrences to God like (he)
the part in verse 14 is what gets me. precious is their blood in his sight.
i am making the connection oh Christ's precious blood shed for us, and now those who are in christ are washed in Christ's blood so that God only see's christ bllod when he sees us so -- making our blood precious to God


thoughts???

Christians Defeated?
Body: "LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?""Yes, sir.""So you believe in God?""Absolutely.""Is God good?""Sure! God's good.""Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?""Yes.""Are you good or evil?""The Bible says I'm evil."The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?""Yes sir, I would.""So you're good...!""I wouldn't say that.""Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could....God doesn't."[No answer]"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"[No answer]The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?""Er... Yes.""Is Satan good?""No.""Where does Satan come from?"The student falters. "From... God...""That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?""Yes, sir.""Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?""Yes.""Who created evil?"[No answer]"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All the terrible things - do they exist in this world? "The student squirms on his feet. "Yes.""Who created them?"[No answer]The professor suddenly shouts at his student, "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice, he asked, "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"[No answer]The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"[No answer]"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again andwhispers, "Is God good?"[No answer]"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?""No, sir. I've never seen Him.""Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?""No, sir. I have not.""Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"[No answer]"Answer me, please.""No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.""You're AFRAID... you haven't?""No, sir.""Yet you still believe in him?""...yes...""That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"[The student doesn't answer]"Sit down, please."The first Christian sits...defeated.Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, yet another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?""Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat.""Is there such a thing as cold?""Yes, son, there's cold too.""No, sir, there isn't."The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The second Christian continues."You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 273 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than -273°C. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom."Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?""That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?""So you say there is such a thing as darkness?""Yes...""You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you... give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?""Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!""Sir, may I explain what I mean?"The class is all ears."Explain... ohhhhh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability himself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue."You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it." The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?""Of course there is, now look...""Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil theabsence of good?"The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.The Christian continues, "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if He exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil.1 What is that work God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."2The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."The Christian replies, "I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going, Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?""If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.""Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare."Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?""I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses."So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?""I believe in what is - that's science!""Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed...""SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"The professor wisely keeps silent.The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's mind?" The class breaks out into laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's mind... felt the professor's mind, touched or smelt the professor's mind? No one appears to have done so." The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's mind whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no mind."The class is in chaos.The Christian sits.
If you didn't get it, here is a brief synopsis. The atheist argument is that since God created everything, He is responsible for the creation of evil. However, "evil" is a word that we use to describe certain things that happen to us (most of which are caused by other people). In reality, it is not a physically created thing at all and, therefore, does not fall within the realm of something created by God. So, the argument is fundamentally flawed. As stated on this site, evil is allowed by God so that free will beings can choose or reject God. Without free will (and evil as a consequence), love is not possible, and God would be unable to express one of His key attributes.

"I wish it was possible to say something more agreeable. But i must say what i think is true. Of course, I quite agree that the Christian religion is, in the long run, a thing of unspeakable comfort. But it does not begin in comfort; it begins in the dismay i have been describing...In religion, as in war and everything else, comfort is the one thing you cannot get by looking for it. If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth--only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair. " -CS Lewis

"I wish it was possible to say something more agreeable. But i must say what i think is true. Of course, I quite agree that the Christian religion is, in the long run, a thing of unspeakable comfort. But it does not begin in comfort; it begins in the dismay i have been describing...In religion, as in war and everything else, comfort is the one thing you cannot get by looking for it. If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth--only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair. " -CS Lewis

so going through some files, and re found this.. i love this song-- the video is something my hermanutics professor would despise- but it's clearly a topical progression- he would say it's pure emotionalism-- any way i like it- my salvation is emotional. i haven't any thing i feel free enough to openly wright- there is some major junk going on- and am seeking His wisdom. one part that i love is when it says " i have always been Father, and will always be father- will you be my child? it times like these i wonder if my purpose is to clearly just evangelize, and point the empty to Christ. i use to think it was discipleship-- but my two main messages that i know Christ has given me -- He is hope, for the hopeless, and He is not found in traditions, and religious actions, rather in relationship-- i can't get away from the laodiceans- i can't stop invisioning Christ knocking on the doors of the churches, while most IN SIDE do things in his name, yet they don't hear him knocking on the doors of their temples- only few answer the door, and few dine with him. NO DOBT THOUGH THE CREATOR KNOWS ABOUT US, AND DESIRES TO DWELL WITH US- THE QUESTION IS DO REALLY WISH TO DWELL WITH HIM?
http://www.andiesisle.com/Love_Letter.html

so going through some files, and re found this.. i love this song-- the video is something my hermanutics professor would despise- but it's clearly a topical progression- he would say it's pure emotionalism-- any way i like it- my salvation is emotional. i haven't any thing i feel free enough to openly wright- there is some major junk going on- and am seeking His wisdom. one part that i love is when it says " i have always been Father, and will always be father- will you be my child? it times like these i wonder if my purpose is to clearly just evangelize, and point the empty to Christ. i use to think it was discipleship-- but my two main messages that i know Christ has given me -- He is hope, for the hopeless, and He is not found in traditions, and religious actions, rather in relationship-- i can't get away from the laodiceans- i can't stop invisioning Christ knocking on the doors of the churches, while most IN SIDE do things in his name, yet they don't hear him knocking on the doors of their temples- only few answer the door, and few dine with him. NO DOBT THOUGH THE CREATOR KNOWS ABOUT US, AND DESIRES TO DWELL WITH US- THE QUESTION IS DO REALLY WISH TO DWELL WITH HIM?
http://www.andiesisle.com/Love_Letter.html

Friend I hope that I am wrong but I sensed that you wonted to prove me wrong instead of talk it through- it may be just how I read it- email has no emotions. but either or it doesn't matter.
Ok you sighted Eph and Peter
Eph 1:3-8-- say Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he[c] predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
who we are in christ right?


2 peter 1:3,4 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
who we become right?

I can see that you derived a humanistic view point from “We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.”
I’m not pretending to know this women’s faith, but her writting does make me think- and that is why I posted it.
first I do believe that God’s desire is to know each and every soul on earth.- I do believe that man choosing to sin, separated himself from God. And the wonderful Life he has set for us.- I do believe that Men today search for meaning- and purpose, and the only resource, or bases for that emptiness in each of us, is that we all were first upon the beging of time designed to love, and be loved by God. David tells us how God knew us before we were in our mother’s womb. God placed that within all humanity- sadly most humanity will never find that relationship that complets them in Christ.

on a more personal note,—the quote does make me feel better.- Jack I have no clue as to any personal struggles that you may have ever had—you always at least seem to have never showen self doubt- or the feeling of worthlessness- you have always been starting player, and poster child for who’s who. (When before you were surrender to Christ, and now that you are surrendered.) Every one loves you.-You are at times a super hero and that’s awesome- honestly nothing meant behind that--I’m proud to know that God has allowed you in my life, but for those who have or do feel small comparred to most humanity- those who always must Ask God to let them sit on His shoulders constantly-- it encourages them- at least the way I read it. “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us”
There are many scripture references to Christ being light and of the world not understanding the light that is in us once we become His. Is it possible in our spiritual struggle, that sometimes we don’t understand it as well?
Many people that I actually know are very afraid of stepping out, in faith to do, whatever God has called them to do. i believe if you look at your whole congraation you will find many of these people-- It may just well be that they are afraid of success in Christ name because it is foreign to them; they are always use to being the failure- or the mediocre. - they can’t imagine God being that awesome to them and with them. They have a view of a God that wants them to suffer more then He wants to be a loving Father. Yes it’s a shame!- they don’t know who they are in Christ- and even my self ,I sometimes listen to the old nature- the Ghost that it is and believe it’s lies when he tells me how dare you attempt to serve Christ - , or you will never be as good as….. Or even you just aren’t spiritual enough. Or whatever….. I am not embracing a “name it and claim” doctrine- I’m just thinking about who I am in Christ.
I am not against using other avenues to start a thought process while searching scripture. i am not adding to the scripture as well--If that sounds liberal- and humanistic then pray for me that I return. This is why I posted the quote

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

by Marianne Williamson

titus 3:4-7

But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared. He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercey.. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by thge Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our saviour, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of Eternal Life.

I was typing out some verse for one of my parent chaperones whos going with me to camp this week end. kinda of a Andys version of the romans road, and the faith program. and well in the assurance side of things i was reminded of this verse. we are the heirs of God we have hope of eternal life.
the sad shameful thing is that we especiall i act upon shameful ways, and do not secretly live as a royal heir a prince of heaven. thank God that although my kingly Father disciplines me on these things that he always loves me, and has His arms around me oh what Grace.

some day i will be whole and never shame him again- it's not a flip statement- for i know i am on my way to becoming what he has made me to be Phillipians 1 6-10
well as i said we're going to summer salt camp today- i admit that i'm not looking foward to it as ione would a vacation, 'cause it's not i'll miss my family- i already do-- this year the thought has been extremly hard on my kids, especially 'kota so it makes it harder on me- but this is a neccesary thing- our students need this rejuvination- they need to live titus 3.
please pray for Matt rogers as he speakes every day that he always be in the holy spirit
pray for our kids who can't go to camp due to family situations
-- jonathan H it's killing him so badly not to go-
--jen & nicole that they find there place, and that their parents let up on them.
--cody that he lets go of his fears
-- Dylan he's a good guy, and has a good band , but there is no commitment just fun and games
--Bj he just needs to grow up ( it's the truth)
Jonathan r summer school
sarah H that she truely finds Christ love, or if she has it she gets real with Him.

those going to camp
``Caleb and Becca this will be there senior year they are too afraid to be the spiritual leaders they were called to be.
``kacille and allie to work out their diffrences and return to their friendship both are running form God all year. it's sooo obvious There is too much to write here.
``Nathan he graduatted this year but is a very young christian- and really has no desire to go further. pray that he finds his place
``pe wee that he continues with his commitments, and that God gives him passion and strength.
``Kelsie i love this chick she's among the youngest but one of the most on fire- pray that she grows deeper
`` brett ,nae nae, and dokota that they see that there is more to life,
sarah P that she grows bold, and not in the background
``jess well there's alot there i think true salvation - he claims it , but doesn't show any eveidence
micah hes' such a good guy, and wonts to be a leader-
canday my femal chap who has to deal with allie, and kclee
my prayer is that we return not just as a bonded youth group, but as lay ministers, teachers and pastors.


--

well i could swear that i've blocked since my lost recorded blog, but oh well.

we just got back from St Louis from visiting tre's parents( oh how i hate 12 hour drives)-- we drove straight to church before getting home for a youth fellowship. it was a party kinda out of school thing- (off church sight)-- i felt so disconnected from the the students- it really bothered me, but we went through the night. one student who has always been distant really seemed down and i again tried to get him to open up. but he did his usual i'm ok -- if i need to talk i will and yatta yotta so this time instead of saying "sure man" i said "hey i don't believe it, but we'll go on your time." well on the ride home i looked over at him and you could see he was so struggling, and i prayed that God would really get a hold of him- about 10 mins later he asked to talk- it was just awesome he's struggling with the typical things , but lets just have the reality check no 13 year old boy should be in the world of drugs , and alcohol--- any way pray for him - it took a year for him to open and it's gonna be a battle for him to get on track his name is PeeWee( ( taylor)) but no one knows him by taylor. we have camp next week - and i'm just pray'n it helps me with him-- i know see that the disconnect was because we had something to take care of- and our enemy was working to make it not happen.

Well I just got done seeing Rent and I’m so over taken with sadness. The voices are strong and beautiful. Each Song on it’s own has two or three levels of meaning but what was meant to celebrate Life, and give a sense of Hope to me has shadowed hopelessness and the endless struggle people have with try’n to reconcile with a God that they do not acknowledge or know that He exist to bring them Hope. I cannot explain the emotional state I’m in.. I am really Heart Broken with tears. the things people try to fill their lives with , the things they try to bring meaning with- the lies that we all tell hoping to believe.
I believe in Carpi Diem in the sense that we must live our lives with out expectation of tomorrow. I believe that we must make today count ( although I confess that I usually do not) however there’s a song in Rent that says there is no past there is no future it says theirs only these moments and no time for regrets or Life will pass you by.- well obviously that’s not word for word but that’s the message. IT’s a beautiful song and repeated often, regardless, it leaves me with the sense that it is saying “do what every you wish to find your truth because we only have now”. How can we who Know better show those who do not see? Often times, those. do not wish to see that there is A different reality- that Tomorrow is not necessarily a day by chance, That Christ has come to Give a life of Abundance— That His Sheep Know His voice- and HE Does Know each and every one by Name

Lyrics from RENT
There's only usThere's only this ...

Forget regret or life is yours to miss

No other road

No other way

No day but today

The heart may freeze or it can burn

The pain will ease if I can learn

There is no future, there is no past

I live this moment as my last

There's only us, there's only this

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss

No other road,

no other way

No day but today

There's only us, only tonight

We must let go to know what's right

No other course, no other way

No day but today

I can't controlMy destiny

I trust my soul

My only goal is just to be

There's only nowThere's only here

Give in to love

Or live in fear

No other path

No other way

was just reviewing over tomorrows Sunday school lesson Teresa and I switched she's doing my junior church- and i'll take her place in Sunday school- ended up taking 2 hours
it's about David committing adultery- and Nathan confronting him about it, and Davids Murderous actions.

the focus of tomorrows lesson is not about lieing, or adultery- it's actually about Unconfesed sin.

i wan the students to focus on what happens when we avoid confessing- when we live in blatant sin. The problem is that it forces the teacher to focus on what's going on in His life.-- you can never get off easy can ya -- ha-- i realty wonder about ministers , and teachers who run from the personal conviction in their lessons.???????

ok so we went on to speak to white oak- figured why not- and the head deacon who i never knew but was there when were were there 5 years ago came across like a complete JERK with in the first minute-- wow and it was in that session that i realized that although he said he wanted to change ( to adapt was actually his word) he really was doing it reluctantly- and i sensed that the youth were actually not a alley to him in church they were just a group that needed to be tended to. all night i had restless sleep- and woke up saying No- the funny thing i could really stand behind their interim pastor who i believe will be there for a while- any way i guess we'll call some time this week , and tell them to withdraw my name. i really believe that that church could turn around , but i know that they aren't ready for me- sounds so funny me saying something like that with so much confidence- but it's the truth -- i'm not up for that battle either. let the interm do the weeding- they still don't know what a minister is there- in there view he's someone they controle, and they havn't a clue what ministry is. so here we are-- God hasn't released us from Pleasant Hill- so I'll pour my self into the summer

God is having an impact at PH
today we had youth Sunday for Mothers day- and it went well-- had a student preach- it was exactly a 10 min. sermon ha i knew i should have been prepared for it - but no i had a stomach virus all week so i just laid around moaning , and well what else goes with stomach virus-- any way so i jumped up there and we recapped the meaning behind our song selections, and our interpretive movements, as well as the skits- then we had every one listen to masquerade by casting crowns- and the sanctuary was silent -- i could tell that they were really thinking about their relationships with each other, and how they approach God.

isn't God something-- he uses me, us to plant so many diferent kinds of seeds

Teresa and i where talking about this after we met with the people from White Oak- and we both thought the same Q at the same time- IS God Gonna have us work with difficult traditional churches for the rest of His ministry with us-- are we to be the ones to plant the seeds for the few non blind in the type churches- or will be a part of what-- cause it seems that this is where we've been for so long-- still if it is, then so be it- hey goodness Pleasant hill had a praise Ballad from Kutless today, as well as I WORSHIP-- it may have been on a standing screen done from a lap top just 5 feet away- but it happened, 4 years ago it was southern Gospel only. WHo knows What God May bring if we could just get the deacons too... hum keep all that off here, and well the sunday morning sermons hummm??? I know it sounds judginging but it is what it is.

the song from when i was alitlle kid in sunday school keeps going through my mind these past few days

A sun Beam A sunbeam
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam
a sun beam
a sund beam
I'll be a sun beam for Him

funny huh? tickle tickle from God- i need to learn to Giggle with Him.

well Jones Family news
Shelby Turned 8 on monday - i can't believe i have a 8 yr old Child. it's sat / morning and she's doing some science experiment-- she has straight As - which def does not come from my side of the family- ha Cota is an Imp and is a definete artist she does get that from me. she turns 5 in 3 weeks-- wow i'm getting old.

we have a new puppy Daisey-- she's beagle, and blue heeler-- and she's such a turd!!!!!

Bou our lab is finally getting use to her, but Amanda the cat is still being a pris around her.
Yesterday Treasa was able to get away from the credit union to join me and the girls at Carrowinds- Parpomont amusment Park. the sc sbc paid for it which was reall nice. kinda like a youth pastors appriciation day. it rained like a monsun (sP) but we all had a good time even in the rain.

me well intrestting -- i'm always looking to do something- get involved a little more in any thing- but i'm also so low key- it's a contradiction. the cause is that i'm never completly satisfied- some times i say this is "how God keeps me" , but sometimes like today i look at it and ask "is it that i'm not where i should be Spiritually?" i look around and see how all these our Ministers are completly satisfied- and have no questiuons- but then again some of them have acheived their statis quo-- i never ever want to be basking in Statis Quo- thats a sure fire way to be dead! ah so here i am
An interrestting thing a curred at easter. my first church called me- the one that i served as aunpayed interum-- the church is in horrible shape- any way they asked me to consider coming back into a payed position to help revitalize the youth, and church. they said they should have never let me go- now there still are some of the trouble makers there- but they really wont to turn the church around- but it's an up CLIFF battle- and i 'm not sure the people are willing to change any way i will talk with some of them this week! but i am kinda in a state of flux- we've not been satisfied at Pleasant Hill-- the youth ministry is ok-, but the rest of the church is not on our favorites list- ha humm here we are-

Well it's late, and here i sit in the dark,
iam a fragile being. i am undeserved of the grace God has allotted me. yet here i still sit. i found a song that i've allowed to get lost with the other cds. and by divine nudging - i've been come reacquainted with this song.
i don't know why it is-- but most times Songs speak louder to me then sermons. Many times I've felt unsparingly for it, but i can't deny that the spirit moves me through such things. i praise God for this song I've been list'n to with such repition to night. notice the subtle word changes.

I am in deed fragile, but He is Almighty, and i have been granted a place with in his courts!
THAT MAKES ME DANCE!

Fields of Mercy( performed by Oasis Praise "Bring It On")
You knew me, You chose me
Before time began You loved me.
i feel so un worthy
So undeserved
and Still You love me and took me as i am.
And now i run through Fields of Mercy,
i fly through skies of Grace
i drink of Living Water that wont run dry.
i hide under the shadow of the Almighty God
And i dwell in the presence of the Most High.
Oh Almighty God

You knew me,
You choose me
Before time began You loved me
In You I am Worthy
i am deserving because loved me and took me as i am.

And now i run through Fields of Mercy,
i fly through skies of Grace
i drink of Living Water that wont run dry
i hide under the shadow of the Almighty God
And I dwell in the presence of the Most High
Oh Almighty God

The same God who placed the stars
Holds Me in His Arms.
The God of the universe me His Own

I run through Fields of Mercy,
I fly through skies of Grace
I drink of Living Water that wont run dry.
I hide under the shadow of the Almighty God
And I dwell in the presence of the Most High.
Oh Almighty God

ok this is from one of our adult leaders. she's a mother of three (one in college), a math teacher, as well as cheerleading coach at the school. she told this to us at 3am in the morning at a dennys while on our Event "the thing" great race 2-- any whoo . so this mild manner math teachers says to drive up to a intersection pull up along side another car, get the other cars attention and roll down the window, as they( the other car) roll sdown the window to hear what y0u have to say , look Shocked and say "so you fartted too?"

I'm still here, and breathing!!!!!

pray for me----- i am consumed with anger toward my Herm profesor-- i know this is wrong but all i feel , or all i can say is that i hate him. i know this is my flesh controlling my anger-- but i am so ticked at him-- he is a donkey seriously 9 deal with the fact that i want to verbally type the Old english term for Donkey-- oh i might as well since i'm thinking it any way huh--- so any who if any one reades this today please pray that i focus on something other then this pompous selfrightous man.

oh happy day-- oh happy day when i handed in all 26 pages of my papper-- i know the Romans 5 1-11 passage- actually it's rather cool-- justification, and the hope of the Glory of God good stuff-- but that is over( paper wise) --sink or swim-- prof is still a butt head-- yes i am being kind.
tonight i applied for a schoolarship from my beloved southern Baptist convention. in it i had to restate my call, and plans-- it was good for me to retouch with all that-- esp with Teresa-- Realational ministry is our focus-- and i see how school and even church has dampered that down-- Church people should not let Church People go to Hell-- sounds stupid huh yep but that what's happening-- It's a realationship with Jesus the Christ, not the church community only-- i heard a guy say at Conclave- " Hey, We already went and got all the religous people, and esp those who want to look like us." i am still chewing on that!

On my computer i have scripture verses printed-- they've been there so long that they defeat their original purpose-- i ignore them- it's to my shame-- there i admit it! but i just looked and read the one closest to the monitor screen. i leave with this and well begin to pay attention to them so that i don't fall into any traps.
" The Lord your God is in your midst, The Mighty One will save. He will rejoice over you with Gladness. He will quiet you with His Love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephinian 3: 17

well March 1st was st davids day-only person in the upstate who even knew what it was-- St David was a Wlsh doctor who was trained by St Patrick ( who by the way was Welsh as well) David did alot for the welsh people. i know i'm a bit gobberry about stuff like this-- but i love March with my personal focus on missionaries. there's so much going on, but i don't have the words to tell it all. personaly Tre came home a couple of days ago " explaining that she had heard that in scottland the public education system REQUIRES religious education, and that groups like the Jehoviahs witless' are flocking over there to have a shot at teaching -- and that actually Evangelicals are in great need-- ( how can this be ? the home of John Knox??) any way so far every day since-i've been think about it) you know- gotta ask God to show, and make clear-- it very well could be that i'm very tired of school-- that I have a D in Herm, not because of lack of understanding Gods word, but rather a pompous professor- and his anal procedures- or could it be that I'm questioniny the call to The traditionalsouthern church-- if the traditions of men will be broke-- who knows any who so lets get through this Herm . paper and onto St Patricks day.

wow so i'm back from Chatanooga-- Conclave was an over load. good stuff though.
Church however sucked-- yes sucked-- first let me say-- i'm about being real, and not tied up in a little conservative fundamentalist knot to prove my spiriutality, and commitment to Christ.

i screw up-- i'm a sinnfull person regarless if i'm in a ministry position or not-- and here's a big hint so are all ministers-- cause if they weren't then they wouldn't be here-- what happens to those who reach that leavel of righteousness/ they are called hom,e to God through death or just plain caught up in a whirl wind with a charote and "Jesus Freaks" blearr'n in the back ground. I'm am so Very Tired of religious people. very tired in deed. no one is about relationship they're about looking the part. and well i'm saying adios to that- I'm conservative politiically, and spiritually- yet i don't think i embrace that title any more. i grew up with the Fundamentals of the faith-- i even wore the cloak of Fundamentalism for a while yet Fundies are not me--- it intresting to see how you can never entirely disgard the cloak after you wore it though. I truely tire of the Fundamentalist bable on tv and in our churches-- when they are castting away the very people they need to reach. It's for God so loved the World-- not God so loved the church. news flash the church is full of people going straight to HELL in their fundamental religious garb. I believe stripture gives a strong argument against calvanism, or reform, i can live with those who disagree on those points, but i can't live with those who practice it in their evangilism, and in their disciplship. we can not clean people up in order to get sdaved the holy spirit cleans people up, when the holy spirit does it.-- and this is religious chains to in sit the boidy of christ play good fake church- when in side all they have is rules, and guilt, and pompous fakeness. The Lost do not want to look religious-( the lost that did want to look religious are already in our churches!) So what if the hair is jet black with blue streks, or there's a ring in the any place other then an ear( not that that;s smart) but whoppdy do--- I wan to say FART from the pulpit Fart knocker to be exact! Christ sees all of us esp in our inside spirit and most of us have more holes, and tatoes upon our heart then others do on their face. I need to be about My MY Fther and Saviors business, not the business of fundies, and legalist positions. well better go Shelby has cheer leading practice. i gues this is one of those rants that only i will ever understand what i said.

surfing through the blogs

well i'm still up-- not exactly sure why. it's funny how my small mind is afraid to go to bed - in fear that the morning is comming- howbe it that the morning is already here. ha-- tues & thursdays are long days for me-- . it comes even if i don't go to bed--ha

i've been surfing through the blogs and i've come across a few Christians- at least two muslims, a bunch of people who have no faith at all. there were happy blogs, sad blogs, and at least one very mad blog. hpw come people hate Valintines day-- a day to celebrate love in general-- it dosen't have to be a halmark card holiday-- it's saying i appricate you in my life for these reasons-- and why don't people give their Grandma valintines cards??? i did -- but my grandmothers are no longer here-- i miss their influence on my life.
we're all diffreent aren't we? well no crap surlock right well every one's searching for something aren't they-- but most people truely are looking for something concrete. for some hope that will say it all has purpose- their is Absolute truth, and i've found it. the modernist would have you believe that there is no absolutism except that there is no absolute truth-- think of that one how ironic...

others say that you need to prove God they need to see Him before they can believe in him- yet you can't see air-- you can see dust particles in the air, but you can't really see the air. but try closing your mouth and nose-- you'll discover your need for air. others say there are many paths to The Creator- well if that were so then why would any of it matter?
Jesus the Christ said No man comes to the Father but hrough me-- He's the only path. here's where it gets tricky-- i believe in my countries laws and rights that alow freedom of religion- i respect the fact that others do not believe as i do-- but so many people don't respect that i believe there is only one way to hope, and destination-- they say that people like me are closed minded because i dare say there is no other way to be reconciled with the Creator God. i say they are closed mindid because they are thinking selfishly-- trying to make the creator -- the one who formed their soul, fit into their own little box-- a box He could never fit into, nor would he want to. they don't see the Love in it all!
God made it very simple--knowing that we could never obtain salvation on our own. we can never be good enough, or ever do all the right things-- it's true that you have to be perfect to be with God-- but what human is-- no matter how hard we try-- we can't take back what we've already done. thats why Jesus the Christ came and fixed it for us-- so that any who believe in His sacrife of Love, any who ask Him to forgive their imperfections Their sins, and ask HIm to change their lives will find hope, and some day be united with Father God the creator. that is valintines day-- truely -- a celebration of absolute Love that never fails.

well i'm so lazy lazy- and care that i don't care!!!!! i have an esay , a 20 page paper, and two test to prepare for. the 20 pager isn't do for another 3 weeks i guess, but the prof is being a butt on what commentary, and other sources i can use-- of course he never reserved the commentaries not to be taken out of the library so like 50 students are fighting for 10 allowed sources. The stupidity of it all. valentines is tomorrow and tres birthday next week-- thi sweek end we're going to conclave that should be awesome for us but no money for the speacil days .
last night we had a sweat heart banquet- totally put our redneck kids out of their comfort zones. made them wear a tie, and dress'= played Yo Yo ma durring supper it was hysterical how they hated YoYo Ma--- no i'm not gonna put on raskal flats or the sound trax to dirty dancing- i swear i'm in a trailer park.

i don't know what's going on with our sr highers-- they're getting cold-- except for allie but allies been in a state of flux ever since i met her. it really started when Nathan startted comming, and then when Jenn & nicole- nicole and jen are so shy- and esp our girls wouldn't talk to them-- i pulled the then student councel together and pleaded with them to go out of their way, but they sorta resisted. i couldn't believe it it actually ticked me off-- but they learned that from their parents-- small closed family churches no room if we decide your not kin-- even though jen and nicole were like cousins to allie-- who by the way want toal to them-- i seriously don't know why ??
the jr highers are moving toward deeper relationship s with Christ though-- i know this is a season with the sr high-- i believe they see the hypocracy in the church-- i know the pastors kids strugle with being pastors kids-- but thats another LONG story. i struggle with it. Terry told me just the other day- don't hurry up and graduate we don't want you to go too soon-- i guess that was a compliment-- but that shows he doesn't forsee the church growing to have another full timer.-- again another long story. i went to Dr Hainie last wed. it was a good talk-- he's a great guy- i'm gonna switch to him as an advisor-- he told me that he understand when every one out side of the church has an opinion on if you should leave a church- but God has to open the door--- he said this very thing happened to him when he was in his thirties just out of seminary, well just saw the time gotta start supper

Que sira sira

when the Lord rerstores Zion

Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices,

They shout joyfully together;

For they will see with their own eyes

When the LORD restores Zion.

I'm placing my self into this Zion. I guess i'ts bad hermanutics, but i'm dipping into this word Zion right now. --without doing a historical, cultural , geographical search. no exstensive word search-- no hebrew lexicon, no mecanical sentence lay out, or approved theoligical commentaries. just me and Zion.

Zion belongs to The Lord God almighty, His choosen People the jews, identify with the idea of Zion, zion on earth meaning their mother land, and nation. Zion to come, for those orthodox is the Messiah to come. But me a welsh /german gentile, should have no intrest in this, except because i know that the Messiah of not just the jews but every gentile, has already Come in the Persona of Jesu the Christ. By my surrendering my life to His kingship, and grace, by believing that He is one with Jehoviah i now am a part of that Zion. Zion here in my life, and Zion to come.

Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices, my watchmen?? they shout joyfully. their voices are Joyful? See with their eyes ! See through their eyes? what let me put this down, let me wash my face. let me--- oh let me see-- yes the Lord Restores Zion. funny, i iii ahh yes I believe it - believe it all the time ---yes i -- ii did! Zion Im in Zion, aaaaand those things annnnd people ----- that wage war against me and Him ? tth they aren't with me they ---- tth they are on the other side of this wall, and I'm restorred?? restorred i'm in Zion!

Jehovah Nissi The Lord is My Banner!!

John Farley Klose gave me a good reminder in his last comment!!!

i banter with frustration. Seriously i don't think i know how to manipulate-- i see people do it all the time, ( at times i honestly envey those people, but only at their confidence, and well every ones ability to spell!) i Q how they can actually acheive their goal, let alone morally justify it. don't misunderstand me i don't want to actaully be one of those people i find vain, conceeded, and self serving.- i just know that since early child hood i've struggled with and sense of confidence. it's both a weakness, and a Gift. in most it produces pride, yet in some it produce pure authority. i believe the manipulator is one who is in the shadows of pride.-- i actually am fasinated with those who command authority-- yeah i'm a nut case!!
i now know my frustration is disapointment, but it's falls back to my previous post about being In Christ's marvelous light. it's just a turn of the head, or a side step that you find your self peerring into the shadows, when in fact the process of salvation has you you in Him, in His light.

that is the same with our students. i've been very disapointed esp with our student council. I know that possibly i've set the student council up on a high pedistal- expectting more, and disapointted at them, when in fact they need to learn to do a 180 instead of a 90- they themselves have steeped into their own shadows, and haven't completly turned their eyes around.
they know no other way, the church knows no other way, hence i find the roots of my frustration. i'm frustrasted , because i'm trying to help God along- i know better, yet look , hear i am Hello I'm Andy Mr dumb butt, who has been stepping in front of his Master.

well here i sit in silence, it's very late, and i should either be in bed, or doing hermanutics, or lit, or even Spanish. i've slacked off, and i feel guilty for not feeling guilty- i swear i must have some jewish , or catholic blood, maybe both....
Tonight went well with youth, although i totally stunded every one with my butt wipping anology-- Even Teresa had that look like oh no andy- but stew said it made it very clear-- i am mister base sometimes i can't stopp chuckling as i type. but it got their attention.- i'm comming to realize that the message speaks for it's self, and what they do with it is what they do-- i can't go on waving the flaggs, and shooting the darts, or whatever i fear needs to be done, if a student slakes back-- it is the Holy Spirit who deals with each soul.. not me-- no matter how hard i desire to reach them.

still here i now sit, teterring on so many edges- wanderring if i'm truely list'n to the Holy Spirit as well. one minute i'm super andy the next i'm a song by shaun groves. i better go who knows what else will spring from my finger tipps-

Father God i beg you to forgive me of my unbeliefe, i thank you for your ever present Grace

"Into marvelous light I'm running,

Out of darkness, out of shame.

By the cross you are the truth,

You are the life, you are the way"

Ever feel like you've just stepped into radiant warming light?
Ever feel like you left a place of cold darkness?
When i think of all the shadowy places i have been, when i think of the dark self serving Psycho bable i have talked my self into, or I have seen others do to themselves, i am slammed with remorse, yet i'm reminded that now these things are just temporary, because the Cross has placed me into this amazing Light, when i find my self peering into darknes, it's only that i have turned my head, and eyes into this darkness. I, my self am peering into a lie, because no matter what place i am in, I am still placed into Marvelous Light- and it is i who turned away, and it is He who always takes my face into his open palms. like a father and redirects my eyesight into the light.

Into Marvelous light by Chris hall.

I once was fatherless,
a stranger with no hope;
Your kindness wakened me,
Awakened me, from my sleep
Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take Your Life.
sin has lost it's power,
death has lost it's sting.
From the grave you've risen
VICTORIOUSLY!
Chorus

Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross You are the Truth,
You are the Life, You are the Way

My dead heart now is beating,
My deepest stains now clean.
Your breath fills up my lungs.
Now I'm free. now I'm free!

Lift my hands and spin around,
See the light that I have found.
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light
Lift my hands and spin
See the light within...

yep that puts it well. haven't a clue as to who may happen upon this, but this does not matter-- i plan on using this space for my true journalling experience, free from duty with my students, and free others who play the comparison game so often with me. This is a place for me my self and i to explore my monsters find which may be slane, and which pinned up in the back like a curisity, or a old dog who actually knows some tricks.
to leap upon the small ship and sail away into self reflection