wow so i'm back from Chatanooga-- Conclave was an over load. good stuff though.
Church however sucked-- yes sucked-- first let me say-- i'm about being real, and not tied up in a little conservative fundamentalist knot to prove my spiriutality, and commitment to Christ.

i screw up-- i'm a sinnfull person regarless if i'm in a ministry position or not-- and here's a big hint so are all ministers-- cause if they weren't then they wouldn't be here-- what happens to those who reach that leavel of righteousness/ they are called hom,e to God through death or just plain caught up in a whirl wind with a charote and "Jesus Freaks" blearr'n in the back ground. I'm am so Very Tired of religious people. very tired in deed. no one is about relationship they're about looking the part. and well i'm saying adios to that- I'm conservative politiically, and spiritually- yet i don't think i embrace that title any more. i grew up with the Fundamentals of the faith-- i even wore the cloak of Fundamentalism for a while yet Fundies are not me--- it intresting to see how you can never entirely disgard the cloak after you wore it though. I truely tire of the Fundamentalist bable on tv and in our churches-- when they are castting away the very people they need to reach. It's for God so loved the World-- not God so loved the church. news flash the church is full of people going straight to HELL in their fundamental religious garb. I believe stripture gives a strong argument against calvanism, or reform, i can live with those who disagree on those points, but i can't live with those who practice it in their evangilism, and in their disciplship. we can not clean people up in order to get sdaved the holy spirit cleans people up, when the holy spirit does it.-- and this is religious chains to in sit the boidy of christ play good fake church- when in side all they have is rules, and guilt, and pompous fakeness. The Lost do not want to look religious-( the lost that did want to look religious are already in our churches!) So what if the hair is jet black with blue streks, or there's a ring in the any place other then an ear( not that that;s smart) but whoppdy do--- I wan to say FART from the pulpit Fart knocker to be exact! Christ sees all of us esp in our inside spirit and most of us have more holes, and tatoes upon our heart then others do on their face. I need to be about My MY Fther and Saviors business, not the business of fundies, and legalist positions. well better go Shelby has cheer leading practice. i gues this is one of those rants that only i will ever understand what i said.

surfing through the blogs

well i'm still up-- not exactly sure why. it's funny how my small mind is afraid to go to bed - in fear that the morning is comming- howbe it that the morning is already here. ha-- tues & thursdays are long days for me-- . it comes even if i don't go to bed--ha

i've been surfing through the blogs and i've come across a few Christians- at least two muslims, a bunch of people who have no faith at all. there were happy blogs, sad blogs, and at least one very mad blog. hpw come people hate Valintines day-- a day to celebrate love in general-- it dosen't have to be a halmark card holiday-- it's saying i appricate you in my life for these reasons-- and why don't people give their Grandma valintines cards??? i did -- but my grandmothers are no longer here-- i miss their influence on my life.
we're all diffreent aren't we? well no crap surlock right well every one's searching for something aren't they-- but most people truely are looking for something concrete. for some hope that will say it all has purpose- their is Absolute truth, and i've found it. the modernist would have you believe that there is no absolutism except that there is no absolute truth-- think of that one how ironic...

others say that you need to prove God they need to see Him before they can believe in him- yet you can't see air-- you can see dust particles in the air, but you can't really see the air. but try closing your mouth and nose-- you'll discover your need for air. others say there are many paths to The Creator- well if that were so then why would any of it matter?
Jesus the Christ said No man comes to the Father but hrough me-- He's the only path. here's where it gets tricky-- i believe in my countries laws and rights that alow freedom of religion- i respect the fact that others do not believe as i do-- but so many people don't respect that i believe there is only one way to hope, and destination-- they say that people like me are closed minded because i dare say there is no other way to be reconciled with the Creator God. i say they are closed mindid because they are thinking selfishly-- trying to make the creator -- the one who formed their soul, fit into their own little box-- a box He could never fit into, nor would he want to. they don't see the Love in it all!
God made it very simple--knowing that we could never obtain salvation on our own. we can never be good enough, or ever do all the right things-- it's true that you have to be perfect to be with God-- but what human is-- no matter how hard we try-- we can't take back what we've already done. thats why Jesus the Christ came and fixed it for us-- so that any who believe in His sacrife of Love, any who ask Him to forgive their imperfections Their sins, and ask HIm to change their lives will find hope, and some day be united with Father God the creator. that is valintines day-- truely -- a celebration of absolute Love that never fails.

well i'm so lazy lazy- and care that i don't care!!!!! i have an esay , a 20 page paper, and two test to prepare for. the 20 pager isn't do for another 3 weeks i guess, but the prof is being a butt on what commentary, and other sources i can use-- of course he never reserved the commentaries not to be taken out of the library so like 50 students are fighting for 10 allowed sources. The stupidity of it all. valentines is tomorrow and tres birthday next week-- thi sweek end we're going to conclave that should be awesome for us but no money for the speacil days .
last night we had a sweat heart banquet- totally put our redneck kids out of their comfort zones. made them wear a tie, and dress'= played Yo Yo ma durring supper it was hysterical how they hated YoYo Ma--- no i'm not gonna put on raskal flats or the sound trax to dirty dancing- i swear i'm in a trailer park.

i don't know what's going on with our sr highers-- they're getting cold-- except for allie but allies been in a state of flux ever since i met her. it really started when Nathan startted comming, and then when Jenn & nicole- nicole and jen are so shy- and esp our girls wouldn't talk to them-- i pulled the then student councel together and pleaded with them to go out of their way, but they sorta resisted. i couldn't believe it it actually ticked me off-- but they learned that from their parents-- small closed family churches no room if we decide your not kin-- even though jen and nicole were like cousins to allie-- who by the way want toal to them-- i seriously don't know why ??
the jr highers are moving toward deeper relationship s with Christ though-- i know this is a season with the sr high-- i believe they see the hypocracy in the church-- i know the pastors kids strugle with being pastors kids-- but thats another LONG story. i struggle with it. Terry told me just the other day- don't hurry up and graduate we don't want you to go too soon-- i guess that was a compliment-- but that shows he doesn't forsee the church growing to have another full timer.-- again another long story. i went to Dr Hainie last wed. it was a good talk-- he's a great guy- i'm gonna switch to him as an advisor-- he told me that he understand when every one out side of the church has an opinion on if you should leave a church- but God has to open the door--- he said this very thing happened to him when he was in his thirties just out of seminary, well just saw the time gotta start supper

Que sira sira

when the Lord rerstores Zion

Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices,

They shout joyfully together;

For they will see with their own eyes

When the LORD restores Zion.

I'm placing my self into this Zion. I guess i'ts bad hermanutics, but i'm dipping into this word Zion right now. --without doing a historical, cultural , geographical search. no exstensive word search-- no hebrew lexicon, no mecanical sentence lay out, or approved theoligical commentaries. just me and Zion.

Zion belongs to The Lord God almighty, His choosen People the jews, identify with the idea of Zion, zion on earth meaning their mother land, and nation. Zion to come, for those orthodox is the Messiah to come. But me a welsh /german gentile, should have no intrest in this, except because i know that the Messiah of not just the jews but every gentile, has already Come in the Persona of Jesu the Christ. By my surrendering my life to His kingship, and grace, by believing that He is one with Jehoviah i now am a part of that Zion. Zion here in my life, and Zion to come.

Listen! Your watchmen lift up their voices, my watchmen?? they shout joyfully. their voices are Joyful? See with their eyes ! See through their eyes? what let me put this down, let me wash my face. let me--- oh let me see-- yes the Lord Restores Zion. funny, i iii ahh yes I believe it - believe it all the time ---yes i -- ii did! Zion Im in Zion, aaaaand those things annnnd people ----- that wage war against me and Him ? tth they aren't with me they ---- tth they are on the other side of this wall, and I'm restorred?? restorred i'm in Zion!

Jehovah Nissi The Lord is My Banner!!