Well I just got done seeing Rent and I’m so over taken with sadness. The voices are strong and beautiful. Each Song on it’s own has two or three levels of meaning but what was meant to celebrate Life, and give a sense of Hope to me has shadowed hopelessness and the endless struggle people have with try’n to reconcile with a God that they do not acknowledge or know that He exist to bring them Hope. I cannot explain the emotional state I’m in.. I am really Heart Broken with tears. the things people try to fill their lives with , the things they try to bring meaning with- the lies that we all tell hoping to believe.
I believe in Carpi Diem in the sense that we must live our lives with out expectation of tomorrow. I believe that we must make today count ( although I confess that I usually do not) however there’s a song in Rent that says there is no past there is no future it says theirs only these moments and no time for regrets or Life will pass you by.- well obviously that’s not word for word but that’s the message. IT’s a beautiful song and repeated often, regardless, it leaves me with the sense that it is saying “do what every you wish to find your truth because we only have now”. How can we who Know better show those who do not see? Often times, those. do not wish to see that there is A different reality- that Tomorrow is not necessarily a day by chance, That Christ has come to Give a life of Abundance— That His Sheep Know His voice- and HE Does Know each and every one by Name

Lyrics from RENT
There's only usThere's only this ...

Forget regret or life is yours to miss

No other road

No other way

No day but today

The heart may freeze or it can burn

The pain will ease if I can learn

There is no future, there is no past

I live this moment as my last

There's only us, there's only this

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss

No other road,

no other way

No day but today

There's only us, only tonight

We must let go to know what's right

No other course, no other way

No day but today

I can't controlMy destiny

I trust my soul

My only goal is just to be

There's only nowThere's only here

Give in to love

Or live in fear

No other path

No other way

was just reviewing over tomorrows Sunday school lesson Teresa and I switched she's doing my junior church- and i'll take her place in Sunday school- ended up taking 2 hours
it's about David committing adultery- and Nathan confronting him about it, and Davids Murderous actions.

the focus of tomorrows lesson is not about lieing, or adultery- it's actually about Unconfesed sin.

i wan the students to focus on what happens when we avoid confessing- when we live in blatant sin. The problem is that it forces the teacher to focus on what's going on in His life.-- you can never get off easy can ya -- ha-- i realty wonder about ministers , and teachers who run from the personal conviction in their lessons.???????

ok so we went on to speak to white oak- figured why not- and the head deacon who i never knew but was there when were were there 5 years ago came across like a complete JERK with in the first minute-- wow and it was in that session that i realized that although he said he wanted to change ( to adapt was actually his word) he really was doing it reluctantly- and i sensed that the youth were actually not a alley to him in church they were just a group that needed to be tended to. all night i had restless sleep- and woke up saying No- the funny thing i could really stand behind their interim pastor who i believe will be there for a while- any way i guess we'll call some time this week , and tell them to withdraw my name. i really believe that that church could turn around , but i know that they aren't ready for me- sounds so funny me saying something like that with so much confidence- but it's the truth -- i'm not up for that battle either. let the interm do the weeding- they still don't know what a minister is there- in there view he's someone they controle, and they havn't a clue what ministry is. so here we are-- God hasn't released us from Pleasant Hill- so I'll pour my self into the summer

God is having an impact at PH
today we had youth Sunday for Mothers day- and it went well-- had a student preach- it was exactly a 10 min. sermon ha i knew i should have been prepared for it - but no i had a stomach virus all week so i just laid around moaning , and well what else goes with stomach virus-- any way so i jumped up there and we recapped the meaning behind our song selections, and our interpretive movements, as well as the skits- then we had every one listen to masquerade by casting crowns- and the sanctuary was silent -- i could tell that they were really thinking about their relationships with each other, and how they approach God.

isn't God something-- he uses me, us to plant so many diferent kinds of seeds

Teresa and i where talking about this after we met with the people from White Oak- and we both thought the same Q at the same time- IS God Gonna have us work with difficult traditional churches for the rest of His ministry with us-- are we to be the ones to plant the seeds for the few non blind in the type churches- or will be a part of what-- cause it seems that this is where we've been for so long-- still if it is, then so be it- hey goodness Pleasant hill had a praise Ballad from Kutless today, as well as I WORSHIP-- it may have been on a standing screen done from a lap top just 5 feet away- but it happened, 4 years ago it was southern Gospel only. WHo knows What God May bring if we could just get the deacons too... hum keep all that off here, and well the sunday morning sermons hummm??? I know it sounds judginging but it is what it is.

the song from when i was alitlle kid in sunday school keeps going through my mind these past few days

A sun Beam A sunbeam
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam
a sun beam
a sund beam
I'll be a sun beam for Him

funny huh? tickle tickle from God- i need to learn to Giggle with Him.

well Jones Family news
Shelby Turned 8 on monday - i can't believe i have a 8 yr old Child. it's sat / morning and she's doing some science experiment-- she has straight As - which def does not come from my side of the family- ha Cota is an Imp and is a definete artist she does get that from me. she turns 5 in 3 weeks-- wow i'm getting old.

we have a new puppy Daisey-- she's beagle, and blue heeler-- and she's such a turd!!!!!

Bou our lab is finally getting use to her, but Amanda the cat is still being a pris around her.
Yesterday Treasa was able to get away from the credit union to join me and the girls at Carrowinds- Parpomont amusment Park. the sc sbc paid for it which was reall nice. kinda like a youth pastors appriciation day. it rained like a monsun (sP) but we all had a good time even in the rain.

me well intrestting -- i'm always looking to do something- get involved a little more in any thing- but i'm also so low key- it's a contradiction. the cause is that i'm never completly satisfied- some times i say this is "how God keeps me" , but sometimes like today i look at it and ask "is it that i'm not where i should be Spiritually?" i look around and see how all these our Ministers are completly satisfied- and have no questiuons- but then again some of them have acheived their statis quo-- i never ever want to be basking in Statis Quo- thats a sure fire way to be dead! ah so here i am
An interrestting thing a curred at easter. my first church called me- the one that i served as aunpayed interum-- the church is in horrible shape- any way they asked me to consider coming back into a payed position to help revitalize the youth, and church. they said they should have never let me go- now there still are some of the trouble makers there- but they really wont to turn the church around- but it's an up CLIFF battle- and i 'm not sure the people are willing to change any way i will talk with some of them this week! but i am kinda in a state of flux- we've not been satisfied at Pleasant Hill-- the youth ministry is ok-, but the rest of the church is not on our favorites list- ha humm here we are-